Dinnertime

A while back I reflected on the challenges of dinnertime at our house, the constant struggle to maintain the family table as sacred space.

Recently, I came across a newspaper article in which the reporter asked a group of 14-year-olds, “What is dinnertime like in your home?” The answers are telling.

“I eat dinner with my mum, dad and dog. During dinner we don’t talk a lot, because we are too busy watching the soap opera that was recorded that day. It’s a pretty laid-back time for the family, because we all sit down in the lounge room and watch something we all like.” (Karen)

“I usually eat by myself. My parents are either not at home or they are upstairs playing on the computer. So obviously I rarely talk during dinner. But I like it that way.” (Matthew)

“We never eat together. I eat about 5pm, always something different from what the rest of the family eats, because I am picky and hate a lot of stuff. While I’m eating I talk to my mum. Usually our conversation turns into an argument, which then fades and we watch the Simpsons. My mother and brother eat at about 6.30pm and watch Neighbours. Finally, my dad comes home at about 8.30 and eats whatever mum made and tells me about his day.” (Sasha)

“Usually my mum will call from work and ask me what I want to eat. If I’m in a hurry, which I usually am, I’ll tell her McDonalds or Hungry Jacks. She will bring it home and set it on the coffee table in front of the TV. Mum usually doesn’t bother having anything so she goes and does something else. Within 10 minutes I am finished and ready to get back to my schedule.” (Jeremy)

“When I was younger, my mum insisted that we all sit down to a nice family dinner, and we could talk about how our day went. Every now and then my sister could weasel her way into the living room to watch the TV, but my mum said we needed to spend quality family time together … not with the TV. But lately it has become pretty rare for us to sit down together and eat a home cooked meal. My father is working long hours and my sister has gone off to Uni, so mostly it’s just my mum and me. Mum doesn’t want to cook a big meal just for the two of us, so we usually have leftovers or take-away.” (Lindsey)

“I eat dinner with my oldest brother Manuel, my sister-in-law Dara, my niece Lucy and my baby nephew Jordan. I like dinnertime, because we first say our prayers, then we eat and talk about our day and things. My niece always makes us do this little thing where we clink our glasses together and say, ‘To the open road!’ She got it from a Goofy movie.” (Daniel)

Comments

[hamo]

We are regular table sitters - more thanks to my wife's discipline than my own - but ocasionally we sit in the lounge and watch the news.

Lately my daughter has been asking if we can turn the news off and talk. Very nice I thought. Until the other day when I wanted to see something and I found out that the reason she wants the news off is because it scares her.

Just an aside - we do sometimes turn it off, but I hadn't reflected on how scary the news is for little ones

[Simon]

Andrew, I've had the same experience with my son. More than once his choice of conversation topic when I go to tuck him in at night is and image or story that lingers in his mind from the evening news. I've had to be more conscious of his presence and ready to turn the thing off when necessary.